Day 12 - Camelford to Land's End!

The men were up early - back up the A39 to Camelford and Delilah. Delilah seemed much happier this morning. We were on the road before 8:00.





We dashed through the first 16 miles at an average of 19.5 mph. When we arrived at a pre arranged layby. Jane and Claire were there to welcome us with a fabulous silver service fried breakfast. The men had their first taste of Tiggi Oggi?!? Looked like white pudding, tasted amazing. This got our motors running for the wet and windy slog along the A30. Although this is called an A road, it's actually a motorway.





There was a lot of terrified chattering from Mike at the back as lorries squeezed us against the verge. Mark at the front had Mike's comments censored by Matt and thought that everything was going swimmingly. The fear made everyone pedal harder and before we knew it we were in Penzance.





The last ten miles were tough with a big climb out of Penzance. Four of our final five miles were in a torrential rainstorm before the weather cleared with 1 mile to go. Also with one miles to go, the road narrowed to pass between two houses. It was at this point on an otherwise deserted road that a silver BMW compact decided try to squash us against a wall (you know who you are).





Land's End ahead! We cruised up to the finishing line. Matt was on the look out for Norris McWherter and his clipboard but didn't see him. We then had our pictures taken at the famous sign. Lots of tourists looked strangely at us but didn't take any photos until we got the Mankini's out.





John o'Groats to Land's end, quad tandem, record time, world record...... done. Thanks to everyone for your support and reading this....













Today distance - 65 miles


Total distance - 896 miles


Today ascent - 1208 metres


Total ascent - 14733 metres





Total fried breakfasts - 63 (+5 this morning)





Next challenge............





London Eye to Monte Carlo Casino rally stage - 49cc unmodified scooters in full black tie. Entrants required.

Day 11 - Crediton to Camelford

Blogster is back having been thwarted by no internet connection 2 days ago and then getting rather drunk last night.

Lovely stay at Ashridge Farm (see photo) and a yummy breakfast. Thank you for looking after us and all your efforts with washing our cycling gear. Thank you also for your donation to the BLF.

Day 11 did not start well. It was raining - lots. Mark and Mike had pushed Delilah to the wrong side of Crediton. Delilah got angry that we had broken her in half overnight and then left her outside in the rain.





Within 100 metres, Delilah was slipping her chain. A quick check of the chain revealed that it was completely worn out. Luckily Saviour was on hand to fit us with a new chain. Unfortunately Delilah was still coughing and spluttering and we coasted to a halt in Coleford. A closer look at Delilah's drive chain showed that we had also worn through our rear cassette of gears.





Mark, Tim and Mike headed off in the van to the Bike Shed in Crediton. Matt and Dave were left in the lay-by (again). Andy and his team sorted us out in record time (New cassette, new chain, rear mudguard to protect Arse-end Charlie's delicate behind). Thank you very much for your support.





Matt and David made some friends in Coleford. We found them looking very jolly in the company of Anne and Neville who supplied the team with some much needed Tea and coffee before we finally got on our way at about 12:30. Not good especially with a lot of road miles and hills to cover.





Delilah still not happy - Middle chain ring completely worn. After a team conference, we decided to press on but not use our middle 9 gears (the ones that we usually climb hills with).





The weather was horrible. Cold, rainy and a very strong headwind. Added to this were some very steep hills. Our progress was poor and when we arrived in Camelford we decided that it was too dangerous for us to continue (16 miles short of our intended target). We stored Delilah with Penny and Gary overnight. Thank you for saving us.





A quick drive to Carnanton to stay with Claire and Paul in the most amazing accomodation of the trip so far. Mark's mother-in-law, Jane, was there with a delicious dinner and lots of cider. We were all made to feel very welcome - Thank you





Tomorrow - Early start, lots of hills and the final push to the end.....








Today distance - 58 miles


Total distance - 831 miles


Today ascent - 1751 metres


Total ascent - 13525 metres





Total fried breakfasts - 58

Day 10 - Bristol to Crediton

The men were well fed and rested after a night at chez Prime. Ready to go to war... and it really was war out there today.

Unusually Coxy felt 'really good' and was 'pretty happy with how we had done today'. Mike, Matt and Mark all felt rubbish after 10 days on the road. Sore knees, sore bottoms and sore legs all round. We thought Tim was going to come back for the last 3 days but instead it appears we've been joined by his weird American trucker cousin Billy Bob Ray (see photos).

The ride from Bristol was great and we had lots of support from the people that we passed. It would have been a lot nicer if it wasn't for a nagging headwind that we had to wrestle against. Before too long we had crossed the border into Devon. Then the fun really began....

Big trucks, lots of them. Then the A361 - Dual carriageway nightmare. We were within inches of being killed by a red renault clio who thought we might have been doing 70mph. Fortunately, the Poo God protected us and we made it out alive.

The final 15 miles were a real trial, grinding up hills with agonising knee pain into a rainy headwind is not fun. It finished Fatty off and as we neared the end he collapsed into lay-by (see photo). We propped his corpse into the number 2 seat and kept going but on the last hill the pressure got to Delilah and her chain snapped. With the finish line 500m up the road, we hopped off and pushed Delilah and Matt into Crediton.

Coxy has selected the most remote B&B in Devon, people die here and nobody knows. However, it is beautiful and Tim and Matt have a wet room... It's reet posh. For dinner we have selected £100 of the finest Indian Takeout.... 4 gas-turbines for Delilah tomorrow might just overcome the headwind.

Last big day tomorrow, early bed, lots of anti-inflammatories, we will be ready for battle once more.

Today Distance - 75 miles
Total Distance - 773 miles
Today Ascent - 1362 metres
Total Ascent - 11774 metres

Total fried breakfasts - 53

Day 9 - Much Birch to Bristol

Today started off with the best breakfast so far, even fresh honeycomb (which we were very excited about as we thought it was local - turned out it was from New Zealand!). The Old School Bed and Breakfast was fantastic and gets a big thumbs up from all of us. Thank you also for a donation to the BLF. Reassured that the journey was flat and mainly downhill, we set off early and were determined that we could be in Bristol by lunchtime. As always, it turned out we spent most of the time puffing up hills... Do people deliberately lie to us?

Despite the hills, there is some lovely cycling along the Wye Valley. We stopped in Tintern, Matt and Dumpy went off to find a place to water the plants, Dave came back with a big smile and Matt came back with muddy knees?? As it turned out, Matt had fallen face first off a wall into a graveyard... Maybe it's God striking you down Matt?

We arrived at the Old Severn Bridge, all quite excited, all except for Mark who was complaining of a very sore bum. He is convinced he has a neuroma at an intimate location. Blogster thinks this is unlikely, since he spent the night in a kingsize double with Mike (who would have noticed)

Matt, back in his old stomping ground, was convinced he knew the way back home... he didn't. We cycled through a massive industrial estate populated by enormous articulated lorries. Then we got lost. Fortunately, a very nice lad pointed us back to the main road and took a photo of Delilah. Embarassingly, Matt spoke to him in his finest Bristolian accent.... We don't fit in Matt, we're on a 4 person bike.

We survived the lorries and Bridge Valley Road (really steep but surprisingly easy climb under the Clifton Suspension Bridge) and arrived early to our "Roadshow". We had a quick coffee and then pretended to arrive on time. We were met by many well-wishers - people involved with the British Lung Foundation in Bristol, Matt's mum, Mike's parents, assorted relatives and Uncle Bob. The reception was amazing, everyone was very supportive and interested in the trip. It was great to meet some of the people we are doing this ride for.

We then set off to Matt's parents and retired to the outdoor jacuzzi... this cycling lark is hard. Dinner by Mother Prime was splendid and we are now all fatted and layed out on the sofa.

Tomorrow, we set off for the final run in. Saviour is back, fresh from his Irish excesses.

Roll on thursday and the champagne-Charlie lifestyle

PS. Thanks to all the staff of the British Lung Foundation in Bristol and the well-wishers.
PPS. Thanks to Prof Spiro & Dr Spiro for driving down to Bristol to support us and also for telling us that when Mike was a child his main friend was Chippy the Chipmonk who lived on the top of a hill. It's nice to see that your parents pick on you more than we do.
PPPS. Thanks to Mr & Mrs Lambert for driving the support van all the way from Cheshire to Bristol.

Today distance: 54 Miles
Total distance: 698 Miles
Today ascent: 1250 metres
Total ascent: 10412 metres

Rest Day and Day 8 - TIverton to Hereford-ish

Blogster's back! Just like Take That....





The rest day was well deserved and much needed. The hospitality in Cheshire was amazing and both the Stuarts and the Lamberts came up trumps. It was lovely for all of the menfolk to see the WAGs, Blogster assumes essential MOT checks were made by all... no reports of infertility so far.





Unfortunately, Delilah was not so well behaved and overcome by jealousy she turned to crack.... As we've seen with Amy Winehouse, this leads to a rapid descent into the armpit of humanity.... determined not to let this happen we sent her for rehab.... but she wouldn't go go go....so Mark went instead. Essentially, we found a big crack in Delilah's rear wheel at 6pm last night and Mark had to drive down to Ironbridge to get a new one. Peter and Sarah at the Tandem shop in Ironbridge were brilliant and had a new wheel waiting (At 7:30pm on a Saturday!!!!! We all owe you an eternal debt of gratitude). Matt and Mark were then up until 1am this morning, fitting and servicing delilah. This was hardly ideal preparation for what has turned out to be our longest day...






Bike ride;





After the aforementioned late night, we were up and away early doors in front of a crowd of well-wishers. We made a silky smooth start and felt quite impressed with our skills.... 100 yds down the road we didn't look so hip-hop when we almost crashed into a curb and had to dismount rapidly and push her round the corner.





We overcame this setback, and with support vehicle (now under the charge of Dr Lambert (Snr)), we pressed on and got up a good head of steam. We covered 92 miles over the day at an average speed of 19.5mph.





The first 30 miles we had a cavalcade of well-wishers, the WAGs, The Stuarts, The Lamberts (in the support van) added to this were visits from one of the tandem shop mechanics, Chris and Hannah (Mark's sister) and Jono, Sam and Jamie (Jamie is Mike's new nephew who cried as soon as he saw Mike.... Jamie is already excellent judge of character).





Tomorrow we press on to Bristol and our reunion with Saviour.





PS. As much as Mrs Stuart didn't want a mention Blogster has decided to defy this direct instruction to say that her cake was amazing... Thank you


PPS. Thanks to the Lamberts for excellent support driving, map reading and food.


PPS. Mike says his courgette fritters were better than Emily's... Blogster finds this hard to believe.



Today Distance: 92 Miles
Total Distance: 644 Miles
Today Ascent: 977 metres
Total Ascent: 9162 metres

Day 7 Garstang to Tiverton (Mark's house)

Right then we have lots to talk about.

Blogger finds himself quite sentimental, we are over halfway through our trip and reality is sinking in. We were welcomed to Chez Lambert this evening by a beautiful banner and lots of tea and cake (very famous five). After filling our hollow legs we fed Neville the horse and drank more tea.

Today has been a most interesting day, the riding has been tough and interesting social questions have been posed. We set off from Garstang before 9, after yet more fried breakfast, and ploughed our way south through Preston, Wigan and Warrington. As we have commented before Delilah is not built for city riding and so things were tricky. Most alarming though is how infrequently people smile.... Come on guys, we look ridiculous! At least crack a smirk.... Mile after mile of sallow-faced pudgy misery guts.

At points things were even worse than frowns. In Wigan a man staring at us from behind his net curtains flashed us the V's (we assume not V for victory). A 9-year-old in Warrington called us a bunch of loser's (fair call), but most disappointingly just south of Warrington a group of lads in a car threw a bottle at us.... Thanks.

So my social questions are; "What have we come to that we can't smile at 4 idiots on a bike? And what makes someone hurl abuse and bottles at 4 idiots raising money for charity?".... In Saudi Arabia you'd have your hands cut off for behaviour like that... But then in Saudi Arabia we'd have our hands cut off for wearing such revealing lycra.

So Tim (Saviour) has left us and is now on route to Belfast. He has been sad all day and we the same. Like a small child seperated from its mother we were nervous of our new found freedom. Disaster has also befallen the drivers from Bristol to Lands End as Dave's sister-in-law has just had her appendix whipped out. Fortunately, with some last minute juggling Saviour will be returning to finish what he started and will reunite with Team "Big Breaths" for their final run into the record books....hallelujah.

Tomorrow is our rest day....

David's weary bottom is in need of a 48hour icepack.
Matt is going to beach himself like a sick whale on the Lambert's sofa.
Mark is going fishing.
Mike wants to come as well.
Tim will be attending a wedding in jeans.... He forgot his suit..
PS. Tim bought an orange light for the top of the van - Wicked!!!
PPS. Thanks to Cath for the sponsorship money... all donations are very much appreciated by team BB.

Blogster will be taking a well earned break tomorrow.


Todays distance: 59 miles
Total distance: 564 miles
Today ascent: 954 metres
Total ascent: 8824 metres
Total fried breakfast: 38

Day 6 Carlisle to Garstang

So its late, late, late and the Blogster is drunk

It's a sad evening because one of the team leaves tomorrow. Tim (Saviour) is off to Northern Ireland for a wedding and we will be mechanic-less. He has been an invaluable member of the team, especially at breakfast when he recounts his dreams..... last night he dreamt that he lived on a planet full of monkeys with long finger nails. Despite them wanting to kill him, he ended up falling in love with one of them.

Its all getting a bit paranormal here: Last night Tim and Matt's room was haunted, they woke up and their bathroom was locked from the inside. Currently, Tim is very distressed because the toilet in his room just flushed all of its own accord. Tim thinks Matt has woken a Scottish Poo God and he has cursed us.

Blogster is scared he has offended the Stuarts and really doesn't want to meet them tomorrow in case they put glass in his food. Many apologies

The bike ride was long and hard. We spent the whole day cycling south on the A6. The start of the day was flat-ish but then we spent the middle of the day climbing Shap - 1430ft of pain. We then suffered after our exertions until we found the tearoom at Deerslet. Thanks for a lovely round of drinks and cakes. Thanks also to the ladies outside who added to our BLF sponsorship fund. One of the ladies also informed us that when she was in the RAF, the man at the back was nicknamed 'Arse-End Charlie' - how right she is.

Miserable, miserable journey through Carnforth

(Traffic; bad driving; abusive school children). We then hit Lancaster at rush-hour and Mark thought it would be a good idea to try and get through without stopping. A few near-death experiences but we made it - in fact faster than Tim in the van. A-E Charlie was not happy.

We also had a new member of the team. Mark has been suffering with a painful swollen knee for the last 2 days. He has named his pain Vince, like a good wife Vince is there all the time and just when you think he's not watching, he gives you a short sharp reminder of his presence. Mark took some steroids for his knee and we think this has made him psychotic. This is also how we managed to achieve our max speed of 32.75mph (breaking the speed limit) in one of his drug-induced rages.

Dave told us 'off the record' the his secret nickname is Dumpy.... your secret is safe with blogster.

Mike has the same physical symptoms as Mark and only eats the same food as Mark.

Matt is a big fat horse

Tim is hiding from Squidgeon (the space-pigeon trying to get in through the ceiling) and also Leslie and her incredibly hard brothers

Blogster is in trouble with the physioterrorists. Apparently Mrs Lambert (Snr) also has a gaggle of physios in waiting. Blogster is not trying to engender hatred. All massages are greatfully received, especially by Horse.

Today Distance - Far

Total Distance - Lots

Today Ascent - High

Total Ascent - Kilimanjaro

Blogster has had too much Whiskey to Calculate the above figure but will update you tomorrow.

Total Fried Breakfasts - 33

Tomorrow - Girls meet boys. Boys get in trouble. Matt watches telly.